100 Jokes for Speech Therapy Practice
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Jokes
1. Cow w/ No Legs
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
2. Cow w/ 2 legs
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
3. Goat w/ No Legs
What do you call a goat with no legs?
A b-e-e-e-e-lly goat (bleated like a goat).
4. Hamburger Gift
What did the hamburger give his sweetheart?
An onion ring.
5. 0 Say to 8
What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt.
6. Married Bullets
What happened when the two bullets got married?
They had a little BB.
7. Mommy Light Bulb
What did the mommy light bulb say to the baby light bulb?
I love you watts and watts!
8. Cherry to Strawberry
What did the cherry say to the strawberry?
Let's jam!
9. 1-6 Scared of 7
Why are 1,2,3,4,5 and 6 scared of 7?
Because 7, 8 (ate), 9.
10. Bird Doctor
Why did the bird go to the doctor?
To get some tweetment.
11. Moon Rock
Why does the Moon rock taste better than the Earth rock?
Because the moon's a little meteor!
12. Cookie Sad
Why was the cookie sad?
Because his mom was a wafer too long!
13. Washington's Armies
Where does George Washington keep his armies?
In his sleevies.
14. Rapper Umbrella
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
Fo' Drizzle.
15. Lend to Bison
What do you call it when you lend money to a bison?
A buffaloan!
16. Grape Stepped On
What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing, it just let out a little whine.
17. Gorilla Nostrils
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers!
18. Sounds Like Parrot
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
19. Brown & Sticky
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
20. One Eyed Deer
What do you call a one eyed deer?
No eye deer (no idea)!
21. Underwater Agent
Who is the world's greatest underwater secret agent?
James Pond
22. Elephant Toenails
Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
So they can hide in cherry trees.
Do you ever see elephants in cherry trees?
No.
It must be a good disguise then.
23. Cows on Saturday
Where do cows go on a Saturday night?
To the moooovies.
24. Crab Sweets
Why wouldn't the crab share his sweets?
Because he was a little shellfish!
25. Biscuit to Doctor
Why did the biscuit go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling crumby!
26. Up Slow Down Fast
What goes up very slowly and comes down very fast?
An elephant in an elevator!
27. Tigger
Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
Because he was trying to find Poo(h).
28. Ha Ha Bonk
What goes "Ha Ha Bonk?"
A man laughing his head off.
29. Fly w/ No Wings
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
30. Black, White, Read
What’s black and white and read all over?
A newspaper.
31. Policeman Tummy
What did the policeman say to his tummy?
You're under a vest!
32. Wok
What's a Wok?
Something you thwow at a wabbit.
33. Traffic Light Say
What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don't look at me, I'm changing!
34. Computer Cold
Why did the computer catch a cold?
Because he left his Windows open!
35. Cheese Not Yours
What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?
Nacho cheese (not your cheese).
36. Dog w/ No Legs
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him.
37. Hat to Scarf
What did the hat say to the scarf?
You hang around. I'll go on ahead.
38. Alligator Vest
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An Investigator
39. Mommy Volcano
What did the mommy volcano say to the baby volcano?
I lava you.
40. Elephant in Fridge
How can you tell if there is an elephant in your fridge?
You can't close the door.
41. Smells Like Worms
What is invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts!
42. Engineers Light Bulb
How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just define darkness as the new industry standard.
43. Wall Say to Other
What did one wall say to the other?
I'll meet you in the corner.
44. Girl to Boy Oyster
What did the girl oyster say to the boy oyster?
You never open up to me!
45. Four Legs One Arm
What has four legs and one arm?
A happy pit bull.
46. Catch Unique Rabbit
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way, duh. Unique up on it.
47. Turkeys on Thanksgiving
Two turkeys are having thanksgiving dinner.
One turkey asks the other, "would you like some more pumpkin pie?"
The other replies, "No thanks, I'm stuffed."
48. Falls Out of Trees
What is big, green, and heavy, falls out of trees, and kills people?
A pool table.
49. Tissue Dance
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a boogie in it!
50. Rooster Egg
If a rooster lays an egg on a roof, which side will it roll off?
Tricked you! Roosters don’t lay eggs. Chickens do!
SEE ALSO: The Best Free App for Speech Therapy
51. Tired Nose
Why was the nose tired?
Because it was running all day.
52. Pirates
Why are pirates, pirates?
Because they just Rrrrrrrrrrr!!!
53. Dirty Joke
Want to hear a dirty joke?
A white horse fell in the mud.
54. Ghost Teacher
What did the ghost teacher say to her pupils?
Look at the board while I go through it again!
55. Angry Witches
Why don't angry witches ride their brooms?
They're afraid of flying off the handle.
56. Witch Hair
What do witches put on their hair?
Scare spray.
57. Witch Subject
What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
Spelling.
58. Witch Motorbike
What do you call a motorbike that belongs to a witch?
A brrrooooommmm stick.
59. Dracula's Son
Why was Dracula’s son sent home from school early?
Because he was COFFIN so much!!
60. Camouflage Trousers
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
61. Two Fish
Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other "I'll man the guns, you drive"
62. Moving Llama
I told my llama I was moving. He said, "Alpaca."
63. Snowman Smell
One snowman said to the other "Do you smell carrot?"
64. Walking Blondes
Two blondes walk into a building.
I don't know why one of them didn't see it.
65. Woman on Bus
A woman gets onto a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen.”
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, mad.
She says to a man next to her, “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says, “There’s no call for that. Go right up there and tell him off.
I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
66. Control Freak
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Control freak, now you say "Control freak who?"
67. Little Boy
Knock, knock
Who's there?
A little boy.
A little boy who?
A little boy who can't reach the doorbell!
68. Interrupting Cow
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting co....
Mooooooo.
69. Olive
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you!
70. Moo
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Moo.
Moo who?
Will you make up your mind already! Are you a cow or an owl?
71. Banana
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
72. Yeah
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Yeah.
Yeah who?
Quiet down, I'm trying to read!
73. Tank
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome!
74. Soup
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Soup.
Soup who?
Superman!
75. Leaf
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Leaf.
Leaf who?
Leaf and I'll give you five bucks!
76. Gorilla
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Gorilla.
Gorilla who?
Gorilla me a cheese sandwich.
77. Boo
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
There’s no need to cry about it!
78. Atish
Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Atish.
Atish who?
Bless you. Do you have a cold?
79. Pecan
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pecan.
Pecan who?
Pecan someone your own size!
80. Cash
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, but I'd like some peanuts!
81. Abby
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby Birthday!
82. One Plus One
Knock, knock
Who's there?
One plus one equals.
One plus one equals who?
One plus one equals two, can’t you count?
83. Barbie
Knock, knock
Who’s There?
Barbie.
Barbie who?
Barbie Q Chicken!
84. Kiwi
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Kiwi.
Kiwi who?
Kiwi go to the store?
85. Lettuce
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Let us in, we’re freezing!
86. Turnip
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Turnip.
Turnip who?
Turnip the volume, it’s quiet in here.
87. Ice Cream
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Ice cream
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you don’t let me in!
88. Orange
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad to see me?
89. Who
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who?
Is there an owl in here?
90. "Cow-Go"
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Cow-go.
Cow-go who?
No, cow go MOO!
91. Police
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Police
Police who?
Police (please) may I come in?
92. Water
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you doing here?
93. Goat
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Goat.
Goat who?
Goat to the door and find out.
94. Beef
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Beef.
Beef who?
Before I get cold, you’d better let me in!
95. Shelby
Knock, Knock.
Who’s There?
Shelby.
Shelby Who?
Shelby coming around the mountain when she comes.
Shelby coming around the mountain when she comes.
Shelby coming around the mountain.
Shelby coming around the mountain.
Shelby coming around the mountain when she comes.
96. Radio
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Radio.
Radio who?
Radio (ready or) not here I come!
97. Ima
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Ima.
Ima who?
Ima gonna tickle you.
98. Adam
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Adam.
Adam who?
Adam my way I’m coming through!
99. Robin
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin you! Now give me all your money!!
100. Chicken
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to your house!
Knock, knock
Who's there?
The chicken!
This list of functional words was professionally selected to be the most useful for a child or adult who has difficulty understanding jokes.
We encourage you to use this list when practicing understanding jokes at home.
Home practice with these jokes will make progress toward meeting individual language goals much faster.
Speech-Language Pathologists (SLPs) are only able to see and practice jokes with students/clients 30-60 mins (or less) per week. This is not enough time or practice for someone to strengthen their understanding of jokes.
Every day that your loved one goes without practice with understanding jokes, it becomes more difficult to help them.
SEE ALSO: The Best Books for Speech Therapy Practice
We know life is busy , but if you're reading this you're probably someone who cares about helping their loved one as much as you can.
Practice 5-10 minutes whenever you can, but try to do it on a consistent basis (daily).
Please, please, please use this list to practice.
It will be a great benefit to you and your loved one's progress.
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