100 Jokes for Speech Therapy Practice

100 Jokes for Speech Therapy Practice

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Jokes


1. Cow w/ No Legs

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.


2. Cow w/ 2 legs

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef.


3. Goat w/ No Legs

What do you call a goat with no legs?

A b-e-e-e-e-lly goat (bleated like a goat).


4. Hamburger Gift

What did the hamburger give his sweetheart?

An onion ring.


5. 0 Say to 8

What did the zero say to the eight?

Nice belt.


6. Married Bullets

What happened when the two bullets got married?

They had a little BB.


7. Mommy Light Bulb

What did the mommy light bulb say to the baby light bulb?

I love you watts and watts!


8. Cherry to Strawberry

What did the cherry say to the strawberry?

Let's jam!


9. 1-6 Scared of 7

Why are 1,2,3,4,5 and 6 scared of 7?

Because 7, 8 (ate), 9.


10. Bird Doctor

Why did the bird go to the doctor?

To get some tweetment.


11. Moon Rock

Why does the Moon rock taste better than the Earth rock?

Because the moon's a little meteor!


12. Cookie Sad

Why was the cookie sad?

Because his mom was a wafer too long!


13. Washington's Armies

Where does George Washington keep his armies?

In his sleevies.


14. Rapper Umbrella

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?

Fo' Drizzle.


15. Lend to Bison

What do you call it when you lend money to a bison?

A buffaloan!


16. Grape Stepped On

What did the grape say when it got stepped on?

Nothing, it just let out a little whine.


17. Gorilla Nostrils

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?

Because they have big fingers!


18. Sounds Like Parrot

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.


19. Brown & Sticky

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick.


20. One Eyed Deer

What do you call a one eyed deer?

No eye deer (no idea)!


21. Underwater Agent

Who is the world's greatest underwater secret agent?

James Pond


22. Elephant Toenails

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

So they can hide in cherry trees.

Do you ever see elephants in cherry trees?

No.

It must be a good disguise then.


23. Cows on Saturday

Where do cows go on a Saturday night?

To the moooovies.


24. Crab Sweets

Why wouldn't the crab share his sweets?

Because he was a little shellfish!


25. Biscuit to Doctor

Why did the biscuit go to the doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby!



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26. Up Slow Down Fast

What goes up very slowly and comes down very fast?

An elephant in an elevator!


27. Tigger

Why did Tigger look in the toilet?

Because he was trying to find Poo(h).


28. Ha Ha Bonk

What goes "Ha Ha Bonk?"

A man laughing his head off.


29. Fly w/ No Wings

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk.


30. Black, White, Read

What’s black and white and read all over?

A newspaper.


31. Policeman Tummy

What did the policeman say to his tummy?

You're under a vest!


32. Wok

What's a Wok?

Something you thwow at a wabbit.


33. Traffic Light Say

What did the traffic light say to the car?

Don't look at me, I'm changing!


34. Computer Cold

Why did the computer catch a cold?

Because he left his Windows open!


35. Cheese Not Yours

What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?

Nacho cheese (not your cheese).


36. Dog w/ No Legs

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Right where you left him.


37. Hat to Scarf

What did the hat say to the scarf?

You hang around. I'll go on ahead.


38. Alligator Vest

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An Investigator


39. Mommy Volcano

What did the mommy volcano say to the baby volcano?

I lava you.


40. Elephant in Fridge

How can you tell if there is an elephant in your fridge?

You can't close the door.


41. Smells Like Worms

What is invisible and smells like worms?

Bird farts!


42. Engineers Light Bulb

How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they just define darkness as the new industry standard.


43. Wall Say to Other

What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you in the corner.


44. Girl to Boy Oyster

What did the girl oyster say to the boy oyster?

You never open up to me!


45. Four Legs One Arm

What has four legs and one arm?

A happy pit bull.


46. Catch Unique Rabbit

How do you catch a unique rabbit?

Unique up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?

Tame way, duh. Unique up on it.


47. Turkeys on Thanksgiving

Two turkeys are having thanksgiving dinner.

One turkey asks the other, "would you like some more pumpkin pie?"

The other replies, "No thanks, I'm stuffed."


48. Falls Out of Trees

What is big, green, and heavy, falls out of trees, and kills people?

A pool table.


49. Tissue Dance

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a boogie in it!


50. Rooster Egg

If a rooster lays an egg on a roof, which side will it roll off?

Tricked you! Roosters don’t lay eggs. Chickens do!



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51. Tired Nose

Why was the nose tired?

Because it was running all day.


52. Pirates

Why are pirates, pirates?

Because they just Rrrrrrrrrrr!!!


53. Dirty Joke

Want to hear a dirty joke?

A white horse fell in the mud.


54. Ghost Teacher

What did the ghost teacher say to her pupils?

Look at the board while I go through it again!


55. Angry Witches

Why don't angry witches ride their brooms?

They're afraid of flying off the handle.


56. Witch Hair

What do witches put on their hair?

Scare spray.


57. Witch Subject

What is a witch's favorite subject in school?

Spelling.


58. Witch Motorbike

What do you call a motorbike that belongs to a witch?

A brrrooooommmm stick.


59. Dracula's Son

Why was Dracula’s son sent home from school early?

Because he was COFFIN so much!!


60. Camouflage Trousers

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.


61. Two Fish

Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other "I'll man the guns, you drive"


62. Moving Llama

I told my llama I was moving. He said, "Alpaca."


63. Snowman Smell

One snowman said to the other "Do you smell carrot?"


64. Walking Blondes

Two blondes walk into a building.

I don't know why one of them didn't see it.

   

65. Woman on Bus

A woman gets onto a bus with her baby.

The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen.”

The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, mad.

She says to a man next to her, “The driver just insulted me!”

The man says, “There’s no call for that. Go right up there and tell him off.

I’ll hold your monkey for you.”


66. Control Freak

Knock, knock

Who's there?

Control freak, now you say "Control freak who?"


67. Little Boy

Knock, knock

Who's there? 

A little boy.

A little boy who?

A little boy who can't reach the doorbell!


68. Interrupting Cow

Knock, knock

Who's there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting co....

Mooooooo.


69. Olive

Knock, knock

Who's there? 

Olive.

Olive who? 

Olive you!


70. Moo

Knock, knock

Who's there? 

Moo.

Moo who?

Will you make up your mind already! Are you a cow or an owl?


71. Banana

Knock, knock

Who's there? 

Banana.

Banana who?

Knock, knock

Who's there? 

Banana.

Banana who?

Knock, knock

Who's there? 

Banana.

Banana who?

Knock, knock

Who's there? 

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you glad I didn't say banana?


72. Yeah

Knock, knock

Who's there? 

Yeah.

Yeah who?

Quiet down, I'm trying to read!


73. Tank

Knock, knock

Who's there? 

Tank.

Tank who? 

You're welcome!


74. Soup

Knock, knock

Who's there? 

Soup.

Soup who?

Superman!


75. Leaf

Knock, knock

Who's there? 

Leaf.

Leaf who?

Leaf and I'll give you five bucks!



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76. Gorilla

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Gorilla.

Gorilla who?

Gorilla me a cheese sandwich.


77. Boo

Knock, knock

Who's there? 

Boo.

Boo who?

There’s no need to cry about it!


78. Atish

Knock, Knock

Who's there?

Atish.

Atish who?

Bless you. Do you have a cold?


79. Pecan

Knock, knock

Who's there? 

Pecan.

Pecan who?

Pecan someone your own size!


80. Cash

Knock, knock

Who's there? 

Cash.

Cash who?

No thanks, but I'd like some peanuts!


81. Abby

Knock, knock

Who's there? 

Abby.

Abby who?

Abby Birthday!


82. One Plus One

Knock, knock

Who's there? 

One plus one equals.

One plus one equals who?

One plus one equals two, can’t you count?


83. Barbie

Knock, knock

Who’s There?

Barbie.

Barbie who?

Barbie Q Chicken!


84. Kiwi

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Kiwi.

Kiwi who?

Kiwi go to the store?


85. Lettuce

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Lettuce.

Lettuce who?

Let us in, we’re freezing!


86. Turnip

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Turnip.

Turnip who?

Turnip the volume, it’s quiet in here.


87. Ice Cream

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Ice cream

Ice cream who?

Ice cream if you don’t let me in!


88. Orange

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Orange

Orange who?

Orange you glad to see me?


89. Who

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Who.

Who who?

Is there an owl in here?


90. "Cow-Go"

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Cow-go.

Cow-go who?

No, cow go MOO!


91. Police

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Police

Police who?

Police (please) may I come in?


92. Water

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Water.

Water who?

Water you doing here?


93. Goat

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Goat.

Goat who?

Goat to the door and find out.


94. Beef

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Beef.

Beef who?

Before I get cold, you’d better let me in!


95. Shelby

Knock, Knock.

Who’s There?

Shelby.

Shelby Who?

Shelby coming around the mountain when she comes.

Shelby coming around the mountain when she comes.

Shelby coming around the mountain.

Shelby coming around the mountain.

Shelby coming around the mountain when she comes.


96. Radio

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Radio.

Radio who?

Radio (ready or) not here I come!


97. Ima

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Ima.

Ima who?

Ima gonna tickle you.


98. Adam

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Adam.

Adam who?

Adam my way I’m coming through!


99. Robin

Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Robin.

Robin who?

Robin you! Now give me all your money!!


100. Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to your house!

Knock, knock

Who's there? 

The chicken!



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This list of functional words was professionally selected to be the most useful for a child or adult who has difficulty understanding jokes.

We encourage you to use this list when practicing understanding jokes at home.

Home practice with these jokes will make progress toward meeting individual language goals much faster.

Speech-Language Pathologists (SLPs) are only able to see and practice jokes with students/clients 30-60 mins (or less) per week. This is not enough time or practice for someone to strengthen their understanding of jokes.

Every day that your loved one goes without practice with understanding jokes, it becomes more difficult to help them. 


Use Multi-Syllabic Word Party, An Interactive App for Strengthening Phonological Awareness Skills


SEE ALSO: 21 Free Apps for Speech Therapy

We know life is busy, but if you're reading this you're probably someone who cares about helping their loved one as much as you can.

Practice 5-10 minutes whenever you can, but try to do it on a consistent basis (daily).

Please, please, please use this list to practice.

It will be a great benefit to you and your loved one's progress.



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